Someday Perhaps

By Muhammad Qasim

I’ve been through a lot you know. I mean, at first there was this anxiety and sadness and this, this… this weird suffocation that pressed against my chest all night and day. You probably wouldn’t get it. Well… you probably might. It’s not like I know how you’ve been all this time. Anyways, all of that was really draining believe you me. Really, really draining. It felt as if the soul’s being sucked out of me. The days just… went by…

But you know, you first get used to it and eventually get over it. The sharp pain turns into a mild pain and eventually all that’s left is a painless scar. And so that’s how it turned out to be. I started getting better. Started putting more of myself in my job. The manager was really happy with how much work I was putting in. And so was the crew. But there was always something in me yelling that I needed to do more.

So, I got myself another job. Part-time of course. It would’ve been really hard to manage two full time jobs. The pay obviously didn’t matter. Not like I was short on money or something. I also started to socialize. I’ve a friend who once said to me that the friends you made in school are the only real friends you’re going to get. All the others are just contacts. Didn’t find it appealing at first but now, it made all the sense in the world.

I started contacting every person I knew or I’d known. I even contacted Sheila… I mean, can you believe that? She was the last person I’d want to be friends with. But guess what, she turned out to be a gem of a person. She’s very nice. I also texted Justin and Harry. I even texted Shawn, a friend from sixth grade. It took me forty minutes just to remind him of who I was… but, like Sheila, he turned out to be great as well.

They texted me now and then and we used to talk for an hour or so. I couldn’t talk more than an hour though. Which is, quite ironic since I used to talk to you for, like, five-six hours. I guess, you were special. Very special.

Still, I had time and energy to do even more. So, I joined this gym and got a personal trainer. His name’s Arnold and, and that guy’s bicep is my whole body… we had two to three hours session four times a week. I noticed I started to buff up. But then no gain for a long time. The body works in very different ways.

I had become very social, had two jobs and started hitting the gym. Still, couldn’t sleep at night sometimes. Some… thing… just, always kept me up. But overall, it’s been great.

All of this is in my head, of course. Maybe, someday, we’d get to sit someplace quiet. With soothing winds hitting us. And a beautiful scenery in front. And then, friend, perhaps, I’d get to tell you my story.