Hope

She accepted she was a failure. After all, not everyone could lie. She could still hear those laughs, that mocking tone saying “You’re a complete mess!”, “A loser” or “Is there anything that you can do right?!” It was true, words did cut deeper than knives. But what could she do? The fate was so cruel that she lived on, while all she wanted was to die.

Noor sat there in the darkness, letting all her thoughts drown her into grief. All she ever wanted was acceptance, but what she got was disapproval from people. Her past mistakes haunted her because people did not forgive neither did they forget. Her confidence had shattered and the bullying had increased. She was in a miserable state, chained to her past, having no liberty to move forward. But what could she do? Was this her destiny that she could not escape? Wondering whether this was her defeat, she fell asleep.

Upon waking up abruptly, she looked around. Everything looked the same but something felt different. She couldn’t remember the last time she had slept this peacefully. There was always something bothering her. But this time her dream wasn’t her usual nightmare. Leaving her tear stained pillows behind, she made her way to the balcony to clear her head.

Looking at the dawn break in the sky, she recalled her dream. It was weird because she had seen herself crying which wasn’t something new. But the realization was fresh. Looking at herself from afar made her realize what kind of life she was living. A miserable life where she was deeply indulged in self- pity. She could see she had lost weight and that her face looked sad, tired and old for her age. She noticed how she was not living at all, not caring for herself. All she had done was to pay attention to what other people around her were saying and how they were treating her. It felt as if her life was being controlled by others and that she had no say in it. Everything about this felt wrong. This was definitely not how she wanted to live her life. She had to change herself in order to survive. Why should the past define her future? Doesn’t everyone deserve another chance to revive? As the first light of a new day made its way through, she finally knew. She knew the answers to all her questions.

The sunrise was teaching her a new lesson. A lesson of hope. She was learning how at the end of darkness, there is always light. No matter how bad a day is, it always ends. The temporary nature of this world was so clear. There is a day for you and a day against you, it’s never the same. Everything changes with time and the sun always comes up, dissipating all darkness and spreading hope all around. The sun shines so bright that it is hard for the people to find any traces of darkness left from the past. Everyone would either be mesmerized by the sun’s beauty and praise it or would cover their eyes if they could not stand it. Regardless, the sun continues to shine with the same zeal after every dark day. Indeed, there were signs in every creation, if only we payed close attention and were eager to learn.

A different perspective was all Noor needed, because her nightmares turned into peaceful dreams. Her determination to prove her worth to others had put an end to all her sobs and screams. As her pain repressed, her confidence redeemed. The clouds of despair had finally faded away. She finally knew what to do. She was the sun and it was time to rise.

By Shahba Hassan

Edited by SSC Team Publications.